It’s ridiculous anyone would go around talking like Boris Johnson

canada goose coats on sale The Opposition is making headlines by chewing its own entrails over whether or not it likes Jews. The country is stockpiling food and medicines, while grass fires rage, cows go hungry and farmers talk of disaster. To make matters worse, he is being made to look incompetent by Jeremy Hunt, of all people, and Jacob Rees Mogg is being spoken of as the next Prime Minister because he sounds clever. canada goose coats on sale

Canada Goose sale “Grumble grumble and bugger me, Marina, but old Boris is benched! No one is talking about Brilliant BJ. Damned impolite when I resigned on a matter of principle, having not displayed one iota of principle for the entirety of the 54 years canada goose outlet I have given humanity the benefit of my existence. Canada Goose sale

“Well, I had a call on the telephoney what not the other day from Steve buy canada goose jacket cheap Bannon, you know, the man who looks like a suppurating tumour and got Donald Trump elected. He said I can take control of the news by saying mad and bonkers stuff, more mad and bonkers than normal anyway, not British bonkers but Trumpian bonkers. canada goose black friday sale The fake news will faithfully report it all and the racists will love me, and all the racists but pretending they aren’t will say they’re supporting my economic policies.

buy canada goose jacket “So I asked the editor of the Waily Torygraph if they’d like me to write something that would get lots of attention, and they said they could do with something like that, and here it is, Marina old girl! If this doesn’t get me on top of the news agenda canada goose uk outlet for a solid week then nothing will!” buy canada goose jacket

“Let me read it to you. I spent five whole minutes on it, it’s really good. Listen.

canada goose clearance “Ahem. If you tell me that we do not have enough state control over what women wear, then I will man the barricades with you, comrades! Let us rip from Muslim women their headscarves, bare the bodies masked by burqas, remark upon the beauty or otherwise of faces covered by niqabs! canada goose clearance

cheap Canada Goose “It is the sovereign duty of every Englishman, fwar fwar fwar, to see whatever bit of a woman they fancy. Especially if they’ve canada goose store got dusky skin. Why, I Canada Goose sale regularly tell my wife to walk around in a balaclava purely so I can exercise my human right, guaranteed at the signing of Magna Carta, to jump out from behind a tree and rip it off again. cheap Canada Goose

canada goose store “And that’s why we need to make the Queen walk around naked. Our monarch must canada goose clearance set an example that British integration means women being told what to wear, and accepting that most days she looks like a knitted German egg cosy.” canada goose store

canadian goose jacket (Image: Getty Images Europe) canadian goose jacket

“I am not in any way being racist. Did I say racist? I didn’t mean to. It’s what people will call me, of course, racist, but don’t let us repeat the word racist in case it causes extra headlines about racism. So many items of female clothing are oppressive, and a truly liberal nation such as ours should not allow women of any race to totter along in high heels, thoughtlessly mimicking the billions of victims of Chinese foot binding, Canada Goose online nor the menace of winter tights that go all bobbly after a single wash and make them look like shabby French mime artists, coming over here and stealing the uk canada goose jobs of Ango Saxon street artistes.

canada goose “But let us not stop there, my brethren. Let us also call out the controlling nature Canada Goose Coats On Sale of corduroy, the Nazi obsession with nylon, the perverted prevalance of polyester and wrongness of rayon. Nature made totty to titivate us, not to be hidden away! If this makes me a militant feminist then I am happy to confess I am one of the sisterhood. canada goose

“And don’t get me started on people who cover up their God given bodies for religious reasons. The priesthood attracts paedophiles precisely because their Canada Goose Parka vestments give them the perfect excuse to hide their true natures. And canada goose nuns! They’re basically just angry penguins, aren’t they? Penguins who flatten the wages of British Protestants.”

canada goose black friday sale “And hair! Women shouldn’t be allowed it, for it covers their skulls! Pluck out their eyelashes, epilate their eyebrows, render them clean of canada goose uk black friday fuzz! cheap canada goose uk canada goose black friday sale

canada goose clearance sale “Say so long to saris. Wave bye bye to baggy sweat pants, winter jumpers, 1920s vintage clothing, duffel coats and pyjamas. No woman needs them, and I say so in a spirit of weird and bullying adoration of the female form because otherwise we’ll be overrun by half drowned picaninnies. canada goose clearance sale

Canada Goose Outlet “In a spirit of gender equality I will also point out that not all men in crash helmets are acid wielding murderers on a rampage, and of course we should not ban them as that would be an example of nanny state control. But if I make you worry about them, you’ll be ripping helmets off little canada goose clearance sale kids on trikes by the end of the week, won’t you? Vote for Boris. Canada Goose Outlet

canada goose coats “The hard truth everyone in this politically correct world is too frightened to say is that it’s simply ridiculous for people to choose to go around looking like letter boxes. Dogs urinating on them! Post Canada Goose Online being shoved into their cakeholes! Being turned to gold with the curse of King Midas if there’s an Olympian nearby! The working classes being oppressed yet again by canada goose uk shop the elite, of whom I am most definitely one and therefore was born to be PM.””If a woman spoke to me I should feel fully entitled to ask her to divest herself of all clothes first so I could talk to her tits properly. After all, this is how humans have evolved to work. There’s no mention of leather jackets in scripture, you know. Off with uk canada goose outlet that woman’s head. canada goose coats

buy canada goose jacket cheap “It applies also to canadian goose jacket children with cancer, the malingering little brats, in those hospital gowns they just hide sweets in. Little old ladies in tweed, scarecrows in straw hats, roadworkers lurking behind shapeless hi vis jackets while treacherously talking this country down. buy canada goose jacket cheap

Canada Goose online “This doesn’t mean we should ban clothes or the right of any man or woman to wear what they please when going about their own business. It just means no one’s been talking about Boris since I resigned, apart from the 1,704 mentions I’ve had since then in British newspapers, and that’s not good enough. Canada Goose online

Canada Goose cheap Canada Goose Parka “So if I say Muslim women look like bank robbers, act all offended canada goose coats when you say I’ve offended them, and grab lots of headlines while people fail to notice that my ‘hard truth’ is the same as saying anyone in a mini skirt is a prostitute, then I’ll get away with encouraging millions of people canada goose coats on sale to attack women in the street just to prove they’re victims of someone else. Canada Goose Parka

“Whaddya think, Marina? Churchillian in its sweep, I think future historians will agree, Canada Goose Jackets and so illogical as to buy canada goose jacket take up most of the country’s mental bandwidth as they try to understand it and fail to spot that I have become an integral, entertaining and, most worryingly of all, taken seriously part of their lives.

Canada Goose Jackets “Jolly clever of me, really, ain’t it? They’ll never notice, and the Tory faithful will lap it up. Next week, I will tell them we need to build a wall on our northern border and make the Scots pay for it, that the NHS must be dismantled for the good of our health and the RAF must shoot down any planes with Muslims on board. We’ll call it Boris’ Battle of Britain. Rah!” Canada Goose Jackets.